13: Do It Alone

We're Not Obliged to Wait

Whenever I go on one of my solo hikes, there’s often the question in hindsight: who are you with? After a solo trip, a common follow-up assumption is that I travelled for the sake of meeting up with somebody. Well, no – the simple answer is, I did it because I wanted to experience it. I wanted to see the place or try the hiking route.

It’s such a funny phenomenon that some people seem to get so confused when we’re out in the world adventuring on our own. As if only the shared aspect is what makes an experience worthwhile. What we tend to forget in such a moment is that there’s more than one valid way to create core memories, and sometimes, the solo aspect can be what makes it truly unforgettable.

We can’t rely on the fact that every time we want to go out and about, there’s always someone nearby with the exact same wishes and preferences. That, however, doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice the whole experience. For many of us, this already starts with the most minor daily things: cooking or going for a walk. Trying a sports class or the cute new café around the corner that just opened.

Why do we think it’s not worth doing it if it's just for us? Could we maybe erase the just from that sentence?

It’s for us, so it’s worth doing it.

And deliberately seeking solo experiences is such an empowering thing. It allows us to learn that we’re not dependent on anybody but ourselves to bring joy into the daily. We’re perfectly capable of doing that on our own; and we’re allowed to trust ourselves a little bit more here.

Doing things alone doesn’t just build up confidence, it’s also a source of self-care. A way to open this inner dialogue between listening and processing, without being interrupted or having to focus on somebody else. Spending intentional time with ourselves on a regular basis will give us the opportunity to get to know ourselves better – and that will mirror in our decision-making, too. We’re growing the ability to take active steps towards our own wellbeing, which will allow us to feel more stable on the inside. And the best part: no one can truly shake that up, because it’s something we independently built.

Suddenly, we can start enjoying a day of adventuring all by ourselves without feeling like something is missing. After a spontaneous weekend-trip, we return with stories that only belong to us, and we get to decide on the parts we share with the people back home.

One of the best parts of doing things on our own is how easy it becomes to make new connections. Automatically, we find ourselves more aware of our surroundings, actively engaging – which can lead to enriching encounters we otherwise might have missed.

There’s nothing wrong with craving shared experiences. Bonding with someone over timeless core memories is such a valid desire. And still: not having someone to share it with doesn’t make an experience any less valuable. I’d even say that the combination of shared and solo completes the whole picture. What counts is that we dare to go out and do it, without holding back. Trusting ourselves enough and especially viewing it as a way to honour our own wishes and desires.

There’s so much power in doing things alone. Breaking free from the assumption that we have to wait for someone to do it with us, and instead doing it for ourselves – and ourselves, only. Other than we’re trained to think, fulfilment isn’t exclusively tied to others, and finding the balance between ourselves and them is a beautiful process.

So: do the hike. Board the plane. Let it be worth it for yourself first, above anything else. Good things are waiting, and they are all yours.

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Carry-On:

What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet found someone to do it with?

This week, if possible, stop waiting – and dare to seek this experience on your own.

And if you like, share what you were up to and how it was when you get back.

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