Last Thursday, I was invited to lunch with a group of five seniors. Not only was it time well spent - it also served as an unexpected yet eye-opening reminder of what lifelong friendships can do for you.
The stories of Hannah
“Now we’re the old ones” is what Hannah said at one point during lunch. Hannah is over 80, quite tall, and a true force of nature. She’s been friends with my grandparents for many decades, and whenever I manage to join their Thursday lunch, I’m especially excited to see her. Hannah is so funny, feisty, outspoken, and makes herself unmistakably clear when it comes to her priorities. Despite medical advice, she refuses to give up on eating sweets with the words: “I’m 80, before these doctors tell me anything, they should try and live up to that first. They’re not gonna take away my chocolate.” I love her for that.
This said Thursday lunch takes place every other week, always in the same traditional German restaurant. The group consists of five seniors: my grandparents, Hannah, her sister-in-law, one other friend; and on some occasions, me. In earlier days, they used to go bowling together, but time has led them to cut that part. Now it’s simply about going out to eat, exchanging news, recalling moments of the past, and enjoying each other’s company.
Hannah then went on to tell me a bunch of hilarious stories from their hiking and travel days. And what can I say, imagining this woman repeatedly slipping in the mud while shouting “I’m not a pig that you lead around to roll!” at her hiking companions almost took me out; I was crying laughing.
Spending time with those five really makes you understand the value of building friendships over such a long time and collecting decades’ worth of shared memories. While you’re in the midst of building your life, there’s a chance that this can slip. But moments like these bring back the clarity.
My grandpa tells me that a lot, too. When I came back from Portugal with my first tattoo, he said: “This is something you’ll look at when you’re my age, and you’re going to remember this amazing time you had when you were young.” I’m sure he’s right.
How about not wasting our chances?
I’m all about experiencing and adventuring. Since having major surgery at the beginning of last year, my whole thinking has taken a hard turn. I’m barely afraid of anything anymore, actually, missing out on living life to the full is what scares me the most these days. That whole rocky health journey put many things into perspective, and the biggest gift that came out of it besides feeling great now is that it has become impossible to take anything for granted.
But even if it wasn’t for all of that – listening to five friends in their late seventies and early eighties talking about their long and beautiful history together would have shifted the perspective all by itself. It’s so easy to believe that there’s plenty of time left for everything, and while that’s ideally partly true, it also isn’t. At least not if every day ends with the thought: ah screw it, I’ll do it tomorrow. That’s how chances fade, slow and subtle.
That being said, it doesn’t mean we have to fall into an insane hustle mentality as a consequence. Taking one small daily step in the direction we want to go already sets us on the path that fits us best. Preventing ourselves from freezing in a situation we’d rather not stay in through regular check-ins. How does it feel here? Are we good?
And if we aren’t, what is it that’s missing?
One day, baby, well be old, too.
One day, baby, we’ll be old and think about the stories that we could have told.
That’s a very popular line from the Reckoning Song by Asaf Avidan and The Mojos. What if, one day, we’ll manage to think about the stories that actually happened? Because we were present in the right moments – emotionally, physically – and brave enough to chase what we desired? Aware enough to realise whenever something good came our way, worth holding on to? Wouldn’t that be a beautiful goal to set for ourselves?
One day, baby, we’ll be old, and we’ll be the ones sitting around a table with our favourite people, sharing stories of the past. And now’s the time of collecting them.
Carry-On Question
What’s one story you would love to tell when your time of Thursday lunches comes around? Has it already taken place, or is it about to happen, still?
This essay came exactly at the right time for me because it helped me to look up my dreaded exam results as it reminded me to be aware of the big picture and that whatever the grade, I would have another story to tell later