16: The Waiting State
Why Feeling Ready Isn't a Thing
According to the BiB.Monitor, two thirds of Germany’s population claim to be satisfied or very satisfied with their overall life situation. However, many of us are seeking change – and what do we do next? We wait. But for what, exactly?
Where do we expect the change to come from, realistically?
The uncomfortable truth: by waiting for our surroundings to behave differently, we’re outsourcing the responsibility. It’s not anybody else’s task to provide the perfect conditions for us to grow, it’s our own.
This has to do with priorities. I don’t have the time can sometimes mean other things are more important right now. This can wait. There’s a difference between not actually having time and keeping ourselves intentionally distracted because we know we don’t want to tend to the uncomfortable truth – that waiting doesn’t get us anywhere.
It’s true, having the capacity for growth is a privilege. Having the ability to reflect is, too.
And sure: holding on to the ever-same patterns is the easier route. We’re already familiar with every part, and this creates a sense of security in itself, even though we might be totally unhappy where we are – it’s a paradox.
Also: we’ll always find a reason as to why now is not the right time to start. Not feeling ready is probably the only real constant on the path towards self-realisation. Expanding our comfort zone comes with a sense of uncertainty, of course it does – after all, we’re exploring unfamiliar territory.
But once we realise (and make peace with) two things – one, that we’re not happy where we are, and two, that we have a goal in our mind – there’s not really anything else to wait for.
The waiting state might seem like a safe spot, but in the long run, it drains us. Not deciding is also a decision, and the lack of commitment to either path leads to frustration which isn’t necessarily helpful or enjoyable.
Now, how do we prevent getting stuck in the in-between?
It surely starts with empathy. We’ve already come so far in our journeys, and leaving the waiting state just means taking it to the next level. There’s no need to rush, though, we have time. You know the saying; Rome wasn’t built in a day, either. Let’s calmly adjust our nervous system bit by bit.
With that in mind, it becomes easier to keep close what’s most important – the famous why. Knowing what we do it for, and why it’s worth it. Might be an unpopular opinion, but I’m not a fan of forceful change just for the sake of fitting better into someone else’s preferred version of us. We’re allowed to grow for ourselves, first. If someone else is a motivation on that journey, cool – but at the end of the day, we deserve growth just for the sake of our own happiness. It’s not an either-or situation, and it’s definitely not egocentric. Taking full accountability for our own development processes is probably the most selfless thing we could do, because we’re no longer projecting our issues onto others.
Feeling ready to leave your comfort zone isn’t realistic, which is why waiting doesn’t really make sense. Making a change always involves unpredictability, it’s the beautiful nature of diving into the unknown. We can’t predict what we don’t know yet, and uncertainty feels scary until we remind ourselves that in most cases, it’s not a life and death situation. It’s a decision whether we’re brave enough to look past the fear.
So: let’s decide not to get stuck in the waiting state. Some risks are worth taking.
Carry-On:
Where are you currently at in this journey? And what is one small, doable step you might want to take this week that will bring you closer to where you want to be?
Some music inspo to guide you through these thoughts:
I Cried, I Wept – Kingfishr
Live in the Moment – Portugal. The Man
Break the Cycle – You + Me
Energy (Lucky Me) – Morgan St. Jean
No Plan – Hozier
Today’s sources:
Bib-Monitor 2024: https://www.bib.bund.de/Publikation/2024/pdf/BiB-Monitor-Wohlbefinden-2024-Regionale-Unterschiede-in-der-Lebenszufriedenheit-in-Deutschland.pdf?__blob=publicationFile&v=4