21: All Good Things Once Came Out of the Blue
On the Liberating Art of Letting Go
Hardly any other process holds a comparable bandwidth of emotions, challenge, and beauty – today, we’ll talk about the liberating art of letting go.
To many of us, letting go seems to be so difficult because we fear what comes after, or more precisely, that there might not be an after at all. We think: but what if this is a mistake? What if I’m about to give up the best thing I’ve ever had?
Another question: do you think you would even consider letting go if that was truly the case?
There’s usually a reason why we feel this urge to let go. Whether that’s because we’re unhappy, or simply because we feel internally that there’s something else still out there waiting for us. An experience needing to be collected. Something that’s not always easy to name or predict, but we know it’s out there.
Very often, letting go means holding on – to ourselves. If staying in a situation requires us to strip away significant parts of our identity, it’s an unacceptable price to pay. We’re not talking about compromises; we’re talking about full-blown self-sacrifice. No situation in the world should require us to turn away from the core of who we are.
This, by the way, is unfortunately still a privilege, although it should be a given without discussion. Being allowed to be ourselves and having the opportunity to live accordingly is not only a basic human right, but a significantly important basic requirement to maintain our well-being. Self-realisation is a beautiful process, and so is meeting this chance with appreciation.
We tend to fear the pain of letting go as the worst possible scenario. Well, if that was the case, the only alternative would be not caring from the get-go. And the question is, would that be something we truly want?
There’s no realistic option where we get to keep the benefits from being all-in without the hurt of it ending, if it ends. And against our initial fear, we are built to keep moving despite it – or maybe, even because. We collected the experience that it’s possible to feel this great, to be this happy; and the temporariness of it doesn’t take anything away from that. Pain is a sign that we really gave it our all, that we’re capable of recognising something valuable once it comes our way. And we will keep doing so.
There’s only ever that much we can do. We can plan, and move, and twist, and still – life happens. Mistakes happen. Unforeseeable changes happen. And although to many of us it’s an uncomfortable thought, there’s hardly anything that’s 100% within our own control. There’s only ever that much we can do means we’re redirecting our focus the moment we know that there’s nothing left to gain here.
We can give it our best effort, and yet, there always remains room for unpredictability. A beautiful conversation yesterday made me realise again that despite our initial fear of the unplannable, this is actually the best part.
So often, life will exceed our expectations. It will include people, places and situations we never would have seen coming. Moments where we find ourselves shaking our heads laughing in disbelief about how unexpectedly beautiful, or crazy (or both) this experience was. Feelings we never forget, or ways we were touched that still give us goosebumps once we let ourselves reminisce about it.
We fear the unknown after letting go – but haven’t the things and people we now love so dearly all appeared unexpectedly at some point? And if one thing is certain: they will continue to do so. Back then, we didn’t see it coming that the funny person we just met would later become our best friend – or the day we had to spontaneously change plans would lead us to discover a new favourite hobby. Pretty much everything good that’s part of our life today once came out of the blue – which is why we don’t need to fear going there. It’s the place to find treasures.
Carry-On:
When was the last time you found such a treasure for yourself?
This week, while you go through your day, take a moment to count the treasures that have come together by now.
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Such an easy to read piece with such great wisdom