22: The House Of Society

Reframing The Attitude Towards Change

To many of us, the idea of change is undividedly connected with loss. But what if, in reality, it’s rather the opposite?

Our societal structures are ancient. We can imagine them as an old building from the past, hundreds or rather thousands of years old. And over time, we might have adapted minor things, but overall, the construction itself isn’t something we would consider a home from today’s perspective.

We never took the time to properly renovate it. When we found the first cracks in the walls, we went over them with paint. Some rooms have had heating and electricity for centuries, while other parts are still missing a roof.

Traditional conservative ideologies are serving as a sense of monument protection. But: just because a particular way of categorising people has been established for centuries, doesn’t automatically make it qualify as acceptable.

What does that mean in societal context – and why is change a win for everyone, including the ones who are already on the winner’s side?

Not everybody feels the urge for a change in society’s structure. Of course not, why bother when you don’t feel like you’re personally affected by the way things work at the moment? But here’s the thing: you’re still affected in a way. Even the groups who enjoy the most privilege are suffering under certain aspects of our structure. When it comes to the way we traditionally view men, for example, we would deny them their emotions. Instead, we’d expect an unhealthy amount of stoicism. We’d ridicule them for the most human thing in the world – feeling. That’s poison for every system.

From the way things work at the moment, they don’t; at least not for the majority. And instead of uniting to face it, we fall for the old trick – distraction through artificially constructed issues with the underlying aim to turn us against each other. That way, we’ll never address the root cause of the problem. We’ll never criticise what actually needs to be criticised, because we’re too busy fighting someone who’s meant to be our ally in a process that would be much more important than solving the issue of whether wearing nail polish as a man makes you less manly.

From the way things are, the majority of us aren’t on the winner’s side, whether it’s obvious or not. From the way things could be, that’s a different story – depending on if we choose to quit playing the ever-same game and instead start to introduce some new rules on our terms.

We don’t need to stay distracted with problems that aren’t actual ones – we can choose to turn away and redirect our focus towards something that will have a noticeable impact for us. Arguing on superficial levels won’t help us feel more satisfied in the long run, and tackling the root causes of our societal imbalances isn’t just up to our political decision-makers. The decisions we make matter, too. We do have spaces for decision-making in our daily life, more than we think – and what happens inside them is fully up to us.

The idea of change is rooted in the aim to make you have more, not less. More freedom to be yourself in an undisturbed way. More fairness. More peace. We’re initially thinking of change as something uncomfortable and intimidating, but once we manage to sit with the idea for a second longer than usual, we might be able to see the opportunity behind it.

We’re not losing by adapting our structures according to our values, we’re winning. Collectively. Systems do not need to thrive off of misery and injustice, just because it’s what we’re used to seeing. There are other ways, and they start with rebuilding our attitude towards change.

What good is monumental protection for if it makes the house collapse?

It’s time to renovate.

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