There’s this fire in all of us. A passion we burn and grow for, the people and things that inspire us to face our fears and deepest insecurities. The thought that gets us moving first thing in the morning, and the one we go to sleep with at night. I believe that there’s not a single person out there without this inner drive, but being able to actively pursue it is a privilege. A gift. And today, we’re igniting it.
Let’s have a gentle look.
The big ol’ question of ‘How do I build my dream life?’ seems massive if you look at it as a whole. Like something unachievable and abstract, somewhat distant and surreal. ‘Where the hell do I even start?’ is the thought that likes to follow up right after. No wonder, since we’re facing an incredibly overwhelming objective, one making it easy to get lost between paths and possibilities. But what if, all this time, we’ve simply been asking the wrong question? Maybe we ought to start here instead:
What is it that makes me genuinely happy? When do I feel like I’m in the right place at the right time?
A thought experiment
Let’s do a thought experiment. Imagine you’re sitting at a table. In front of you, there are many colourful puzzle pieces coming in all shapes and sizes. Nothing is predefined and it’s fully up to you which ones you want to pick and put together to form the puzzle. Imagine the pieces visually represent all the things that bring joy into your daily life. What do you see?
Pawprints on sand. Your favourite coffee mug. A hilarious moment captured while making memories with your friends. Snippets and postcards of your happy places. The view from the top of the hill on your favourite evening walk. Your love story on film. And all the beautiful moments you’re yet about to experience.
When we see the images in front of our inner eye, we also hear the moment. We smell it. We feel it. And we remember – not only who we are, but what makes us, us.
Isn’t that kind of answering it already? So often, what we’re desperately seeking is in immediate reach; all we have to do is notice.
Sorting our puzzle pieces
In Wholeheartedly’s second edition, we talked about the importance of creating the conditions that will then allow us to go with the flow. Being in the right place surrounded by the things we love, and realising it, is exactly that.
For most of us, there are also parts we would rather see erased from the puzzle of our life, but those are equally as important as the ones we’re able to choose. They hold substance, the connecting elements to our story. Turning points. Wake-up calls. Without them, there wouldn’t be a puzzle; just pieces.
And there can be many. When you spend a lot of time in differing surroundings such as navigating life between countries and meeting people with all kinds of lifestyles, you start grasping how many. These encounters enrich the way we look at our own puzzle, by opening up new perspectives and providing ideas on what else we might want to integrate. Four years ago, I spent a week in Liguria, Italy, with a group of amazing women, bonding over our shared passion for self-discovery. Conny was one of them. Our age difference of twenty years plus didn’t do any harm to the fact that we somehow just clicked. She got me, and I got her - it was great. The last day of our seminar, she went up to her room and came back with a yellow candle. When she handed it to me, she said: “You know what, I wasn’t sure why I even packed this coming here, but I had a feeling I should. And now that I met you, I understand.” The candle had a label with a single word on it: Vertrauen. The German word for trust.
Back then, I struggled finding it – in life, in my abilities to follow my dreams and in the pieces to fit together in the end. The candle still serves as my reminder to keep trusting, especially at the beginning, when it’s not yet clear how things will go. It’s become one of the connecting elements in my puzzle.
How can we go on from here?
Putting the pieces together is quite the adventure. First, we need to find the courage to start. Then, we’re busy identifying the single shapes and sizes, sorting through ways to connect. It’s tempting to overanalyse the process, and we’ll ask ourselves more than once how on earth they can all fit into the same picture despite their contradictions – but against our fears, they’ll end up complementing each other wonderfully.
Always complete, but never quite finished. Raising questions on one end and surprising with answers on the other. There is always room for expansion, the table is big enough. Love has no limits.
Carry-On Question:
When you think about the pieces to your puzzle – what do they show? Which moments and places? Who is part of it?
This one was such an easy read even though the topic is tough to face❤️