It's the most... stressful time of the year?
Monday Editions
I’d argue that peace is what most of us are longing for during the holiday season – and what’s quite paradoxical is that our own traditions are working effectively against it, at least partially. Why is Christmas stress such a big part of our culture, and is there a realistic way to work around it?
Stress is part of Christmas culture.
Christmas season has officially started – and with that, the season of tradition. And although holidays are commonly associated with relaxation, I’d argue that the Christmas holidays tend to be one of the most stressful parts of the whole year for many.
A Swedish retrospective study revealed that especially on Christmas, the number of heart attacks has been significantly higher compared to the rest of the year. That conclusion was drawn out of over 280 thousand cases of documented myocardial infarction between 1998 and 2013. Among other things, potential causes were linked to heightened emotional stress.
While Christmas holds its happy moments, the expectations we’re trying to fulfil are often part of the picture, too – during the end phase of the year when our energy reserves are already depleted.
Christmas isn’t just about giving – it’s about functioning.
Especially for those of us who tend to keep a bit of a distance from their family during the rest of the year, this coping strategy collapses as soon as Christmas Eve’s around the corner. We’re well aware that we’re about to enter an explosive atmosphere, with many overworked people and unresolved conflicts in the same room. And sometimes, these types of get-togethers can leave us with the pressure to perform a cheerfulness we might not even remotely feel on the inside.
Due to this, Christmas isn’t exactly the easiest holiday for many. The time itself tends to be emotionally charged, might throw us back into unwanted feelings or call up all kinds of memories, not necessarily only positive ones.
It’s not necessarily very easy to find a functioning balance between participating and finding time for ourselves.
Many of us hold back during the holidays, and it makes sense. We usually know where to expect drama unfolding, and I’d argue that it’s quite the opposite of what we seek during that time of the year.
Sometimes, we might feel like we owe others this cheerful performance because it’s Christmas time and this is “how it’s supposed to be done”. But even if we’re managing to play it Oscar-worthy: at the end of the day, we’re still allowed to feel like ourselves. And if that includes scheduling some time away from the potentially not-so-happy Christmas atmosphere, it’s more than valid.
We’re really going the extra mile for our loved ones and while that’s surely something we’re happy to do, it certainly shouldn’t cost us our own peace.
We’re allowed to create our very own set of rules. Adapting an old tradition doesn’t mean we’re disrespecting the previous way, or the effort that others have put into it. And while I personally don’t believe that erasing all stress from the Christmas holidays is a realistic approach, I’m convinced that we deserve to prioritise our wellbeing over a draining performance.
Whatever it might be that helps, we’re allowed to make the most wonderful time of the year a little less stressful.
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